Regarding: Know How I Know You're Gay?

L: do you have the new coldplay?
me: i'd rather have a new coldsore

Regarding: Old-Timey Phrases

L: you probs shouldnt pay if you dont want it to be date-y
L: but if you wanna leave your options open then totally pay
me: what do you mean "leave my options open"
L: i think you know what i mean
me: you mean fork over the cash if i want to bed her
L: i like bed her
L: good phrase
me: does it sound romantic?
L: it sounds old-timey
L: i like old-timey
L: like pantaloons
me: ok
me: so i need to fork over the money if i want to get into her pantaloons.